Sleepy
by Nellie1
Summary: On the tails of a near-disaster, Jack rises to a higher plane of existence, Daniel considers violence, Sam is snarky and Teal'c is a sight for sore eyes. Choose your own pairing.
1. Default Chapter

Sleepy  
by Nel 

**Email:** nel_ani@yahoo.se  
**Rating:** R  
**Category:   
****Pairing:** Choose you own (as in Jack/Daniel or Sam/Jack.)  
**Disclaimer:** Oh, you know the drill, they ain't mine, I don't make any money, yadda yadda yadda.  
**Spoilers:** None that I can think of.  
**Summary:** On the tails of a near-disaster, Jack rises to a higher plane of existence, Daniel considers violence, Sam is snarky and Teal'c is a sight for sore eyes.  
**Author's Notes:** Another one of those "trying to break the block" stories that turned out far more interesting than I'd ever hoped for.

Suz, Kel… They are so the best. They put up with my *constant* nagging, and just really made it all work. *smooches*

Also thanks to Mairoh and Danvers who betaed this without any warning from my part. They, too, rock muchly. *hugs*

Last not but least, thanks to Genie, who I somehow managed to tangle in this mess as well, and I don't think neither of us are sure how it happened… Thanks, babe :D

*** 

*Christ*, he was tired. After having chased alien baddies, saved aliens goodies, jumped from cliffs (okay, so it was more like a high rock, but still), banged his head against the customary club (or maybe the club had banged his head? The memory was somewhat blurry) *and* managed to land on his face when jumping through the 'gate on his way home, he was more than a little beat. This should have been a normal day's work, which usually left him with a slight weariness and an adrenaline high like nothing else, but last night he'd stayed up 'til 0400 watching the Simpsons marathon, even though he'd needed the rest after the off-world escapade the day before.

Thus he was now sitting in front of his computer, the cursor blinking on the blank page he'd opened, feeling like his head was somehow floating away from the rest of his body. An interesting sensation, granted, but nothing, he suspected, that'd help the process of writing his report. 

His fingers started moving over the keyboard, and 30 seconds later he was staring at the screen, absurdly proud that he'd managed to type in the date. Oy. This was going to be a long night. 

He was about to continue on the first actual sentence, when there was a knock on his door. He didn't even pretend to himself that he was sorry about the interruption. 

"The door's open." 

At least he thought it was. 

As it opened and Carter appeared where the door had been previously, he concluded that the door had, in fact, been open.

Or Carter was even better than he'd given her credit for.

She smiled at him. "Colonel." 

"Major." 

"Sorry to bother you, sir." She glanced down at his keyboard. "Especially since you've gotten the computer to start." 

"If I didn't know better, Carter, I'd think I'd just been insulted." He casually removed his fingers from the right keys. He had a reputation to consider, after all. 

"Good thing you know better, then." 

Jack quirked an eyebrow. "Did you want something, or did you just come to mock me?" 

"Just came to tell you that the new members of SG-13 have arrived." 

"That was *today*?" He looked around his desk for any memo with the information he was looking for, but as usual, his desk was covered in papers he didn't even have a remote idea what they were good for. 

Carter looked somber, which meant that she definitely wasn't. "Yes, sir." 

Jack frowned in irritation. "Are they aware that it's in the middle of the night?" 

"Actually, it's only 2200 hours, sir." 

"Says you." 

"Says my watch." She taped her wristwatch. 

"Can't they wait until the morning?" Good thing Jack knew that Colonels didn't whine, otherwise he could have sworn that a whine had just slipped past his lips. 

"They could, but it was you who said that you wanted to meet them in person 'the second they arrive, Carter, and not a minute later...'." 

"I hate it when you remember that stuff." 

"Sorry, sir." She didn't look very sorry. It was plainly obvious that she wasn't. As a matter of fact, the way she was looking, she was probably what the dictionary people had thought of when they wrote the word "gleeful".

He sighed. "Don't you have anyone else's evening to mess up?" 

"Funny you should mention that, I was just on my way to Daniel." 

"Hah. He'll probably think it's nice meeting new people at this hour." 

"Most likely." 

He took a deep breath, trying to shake off that muzzy, disconnected feeling in his head. When it didn't succeed, he looked into the amused eyes of his disgustingly perky-looking 2IC and sighed again. He rose heavily from his chair. "Alright." Wow, were his legs supposed to feel this heavy? "Let's get this show on the road." 

*

As Carter introduced Lieutenant Whatshisface and Major Whatever, Jack got that gritty feeling in his eyes, like someone had rubbed sand into them and refused to show the way to the closest sink. Something prodded into his side, and he turned annoyed eyes to Daniel's unusually sharp elbow. 

"What?" Jack whispered. 

"You could at least pretend that you're interested." Daniel gave him that look that would make Jack want to feel guilty - if it weren't for the fact that he was a hardass Air Force officer, of course. 

"I'm looking interested." Jack tried to prove his point by smiling at the Lieutenant, which made the kid look pretty terrified. Geez, what was he, Frankenstein? 

"You're looking like you're two seconds away from tearing someone's head off." 

"Just trying to find the sink," Jack muttered, earning him a confused frown from Daniel. Hah. Why should Jack be the only one firing on less than one cylinder? 

He realized that Carter had stopped speaking and was looking expectantly at him. That probably meant that it was his cue to say something profound. Resisting the urge to sigh, he drew a breath and opened his mouth to speak. As the first syllable was about to pass his lips, the klaxons suddenly started blaring. 

_"Intruder alert, intruder alert, this is not a drill, I repeat, this is *not* a drill." _Jack couldn't remember the last time he'd been so happy to hear Sgt Davis voice. 

Of course then he realized exactly what Davis was saying. 

"Carter, Daniel: with me." He looked at the...well, not rookies, he supposed, but in these conditions, they might as well be. Whatever they were, they sure couldn't be left on their own when the base was under possible alien incursion. 

"You two. Come along." 

At least the Lieutenant wasn't looking freaked on Jack's behalf any longer. 

*

They made it to the armory without any incidents, which made Jack feel uneasy. Things going well usually meant they were going to go very *bad* within the nearest future. 

The new guys looked slightly less nervous with some weapons in their hands, and after Jack made sure they didn't look like they were about to shoot themselves in the feet, he gave them a quick introduction on the weapons they probably hadn't seen before. 

"This is a zat gun. Basically it electrocutes the person slash alien on the wrong side of it. One hit stuns, two kills, three makes the remains..." He looked at Daniel. 

"Disintegrate," Daniel supplied as he slipped a clip into a P90 and handed it to Sam. 

"What he said." 

"Um," the Lieutenant looked embarrassed, "we know, sir, we've been trained to use all the alien weaponries." 

_Oh._ "Right. I knew that." Good thing Jack knew Daniel was a serious kind of guy, or he could have sworn he'd heard him snigger. "Still, make sure you don't shoot any of us with it." That earned him a grin from the Lieutenant that didn't look scared. Progress. 

"What were your names again?" He figured he should probably try and remember them in case they actually survived this. 

"I'm Johnson and this is Steel." The Major nodded to the younger officer. 

"Right." He looked at Carter who had taken post at the door. "We clear?" 

"Looks that way, sir." 

"Good." He watched Daniel slip a final spare clip in his pocket. "Where did you last see Teal'c?" 

"Control room with the General." 

"Okay, control room it is." He cracked his neck to the side and noticed absently that adrenaline had done its job and he wasn't feeling muzzy in the head any longer. God, he loved this job. 

*

"What is *that*?"

He stared down at the... *thing* lying at his feet, and carefully prodded it with his boot. It was very... well... slimy for one. And he wasn't quite sure which side was the back and which side was the front. Or what was up and down, for that matter. It was definitely icky, though. Steel on the other hand, looked absolutely fascinated. Great. So Jack smiling at him scared the shit out of him, but in the face of slimy alien lumps he seemed relaxed? 

He'd do great on this job. 

"Whatever it is, it wore some sort of cloaking device." Carter was turning some metallic thing with lights on it in her hands. 

"Great. Everyone except us has cloaking devices." 

"Well..." She smiled up at him in that excited way that hadn't diminished over the years, even when other things had. "When we get the base back under control-"

"If," Daniel interjected, and Jack wondered when he'd stolen Jack's position of absolute pessimism. 

"-I could study this and we might be able to put it to use." 

"Atta girl." 

Carter grinned. 

"Sir." Johnson had been watching the end of the corridor, and now he came jogging back towards them. "People approaching, I can hear footsteps." 

"Most likely people on our side." Daniel nodded to the alien on the floor. "That doesn't look like it's very good at walking." 

Never the less, they all raised the weapons at Jack's sign. He knew better than to get too self-assured. 

Their concerns were soon eased as Teal'c came around the corner, staff weapon at the ready. Siler and a couple of other SFs were following closely behind. 

"O'Neill, MajorCarter, DanielJackson." He seemed pleased to see them. Jack had to admit it was pretty nice seeing that shiny tattoo as well. 

"Heya, Teal'c. We were just looking for you. What's the situation?" 

"Levels 21 through 25 have been secured, as have the gate room and control room. GeneralHammond has ordered a lock down of the facility and has sent troops to meet those coming upwards." 

"Sweet." 

"Any idea how they could have gotten on base?" Daniel's question was valid. Jack wished he'd thought of it. 

"Readings from the control room indicate that they arrived with us from P04-115." 

"The cloaking devices." Carter nodded. 

Daniel frowned. "How did we pick them up if they were using the cloaking devices?" 

Another very valid question. Jack looked expectantly at Teal'c. 

"It seems that when they exited the wormhole with us, their devices caused a brief burst of energy that wasn't thought upon further at the time." 

"Of course." Carter had that tone of voice that said 'I'm so stupid'. "When something with electrical currents in it, such as the human body, is rematerialized after a trip through an active wormhole, it has to let off some energy otherwise it'd implode. Our bodies and the equipment we carry leave an energy trace every time. These things," she shook the blinking device that was still in her hand (they'd never get her to let it go...), "are very advanced, but I'd be willing to be that they need a lot of energy to work. Their traces should be a lot more obvious." 

Jack blinked. "Of course." He looked at her for a moment, then shook his head. The time spent standing still had made the adrenaline wear off a bit; Carter's explanation was even more incomprehensible than usual. He needed to get moving again. "So, I take it the East sector is clear?" 

Teal'c inclined his head. 

"Good. We'll go together to the West sector. We'll take level 27, you take 26." He suddenly remembered the new recruits. "This is Steel and Johnson, by the way, SG-13's newest additions." 

Teal'c nodded. "It is an honor." 

Johnson nodded somberly, apparently unfazed that he was obviously speaking to an alien. "Likewise." The guy didn't talk much, but he adapted real fast. Jack liked him already. 

"Right, now that everyone knows everyone..." He eyed Siler who was giving him reproachful looks. "Now that *almost* everyone knows everyone, we can get on our way." 

"What about the... alien, sir?" Steel looked at the lumpy thing. 

"Did you shoot it?" 

"Twice, sir." 

"With the zat?" 

"Yes, sir." 

"Then if it's still alive, it deserves to come after us. Let's go." 

*

"Question." Only Daniel could sound like he was in a classroom while in fact he was on his way down an elevator in a secret facility on an alien hunt. 

"Shoot." 

"How are we supposed to find the aliens when they're cloaked again?" 

"It has proved efficient to fire a zat'nik'tel once to disengage their cloaking device." 

"Neat." Jack looked questioningly at Teal'c. "Who came up with that idea?" 

"It was not as much an idea as a revelation when a lieutenant fired a zat'nik'tel in panic as he was attacked." 

Jack shrugged. "Whatever works." 

The elevator started to slow. "Okay, this is our stop." He nodded to Carter and Daniel. "Let's go." 

As the elevator doors opened, Jack didn't waste any time firing his zat. If there were friendlies on the other side of the door, he figured he could apologize later. 

No lumpy thing came into view, and Carter moved ahead, closely followed by Steel. He nodded to Johnson, and he moved ahead as well, Daniel behind him. The new guys seemed reliable enough, but Jack preferred having them in front of him. Armed people he didn't know covering his six never seemed like a good idea nowadays. 

Carter looked at him as he came up by her side. "Should we split up, sir? If the tactic is to fire a zat at every corner, large groups won't do that much good anyway." 

Jack considered that. "Normally I'd agree, but normally I'd have a full team to rely on." He looked over at Steel and Johnson: the first standing guard by the elevator, the other by the next corner. "I'm sure their credentials are excellent, but I prefer to have a bit more experience with how they work before I split my real team up." 

"Alright." 

"Jack." 

"Daniel?" 

"I heard something." 

Silently walking over to Daniel who was standing next to Johnson, Jack listened carefully. The focused look on Daniel's face told him that he was doing the same. 

"What did you hear?" Jack mumbled, ears straining for any kind of noise. 

"I'm not sure… It sounded like-"

Johnson cried out and fired his P90 before falling backwards, red marks appearing on his face. Jack didn't hesitate as he fired his zat at him, but as the unconscious Major's head hit the floor with a thud, no lumpy alien thing appeared. 

"Everyone back to back; fire zats in all directions." He felt Daniel's solid shoulder next to his and Carter's back against his own, but before anyone had time to fire something hit Jack with the force of a very large dog at full speed, and he was thrown against Carter's back, losing hold of his zat in the process. 

As something ripped at his face, Jack gritted his teeth. _This is really going to hurt._

He could hear the familiar sound of a zat being fired before blue currents guided him into inky blackness. 

*

He felt… *great*. Wow. Really. He felt spectacular. For some reason, he was sure that he shouldn't, but he couldn't for the life of him remember why. 

"Colonel, can you hear me?" 

He opened his eyes _(Hey! My eyes were closed! Neat!)_ and looked into Janet's face. 

"Doc! Hey!" 

She smiled warmly at him. "Hello, Colonel. How are you feeling?" 

Jack thought about it carefully and came up with the only word that seemed to explain the greatness he was experiencing. "Groovy." 

Janet's eyes widened and she coughed strangely before turning away hastily to pick up a chart. "The alien that attacked you has administered some sort of drug into your system. We haven't been able to determine what it does, but we *do* know that it isn't life threatening." 

"Cool!" 

She smiled at him again. "Yes, very cool, sir." 

"So…" He blinked a bit. "What alien?" 

Her smile disappeared and she frowned. "You don't remember what happened?" 

He couldn't really, no. That should make him worried, but it didn't. Why worry about stuff? Worry didn't change anything. 

He marveled over the clearness of his mind. He should really write this down…

"Colonel!" Carter walked towards the bed he was lying on _(Hey, I'm lying down!)_ at a fast pace. 

_Oooh, Carter._ "Carter!" 

"How are you feeling, Jack?" Daniel came close behind her. 

_And Daniel!_ "Daniel, hey!" 

"Hey, Jack." Daniel smiled at him and looked at him a bit funnily, but that didn't really bother Jack. He was a funny guy after all. 

"How are you feeling, sir?" Carter asked. Why? Daniel already asked that. Maybe Jack hadn't answered…

"I'm groovy." 

Daniel's eyebrows rose and he looked over at Janet. 

"Yes, as I was saying." Janet did that strange cough again. Maybe she was getting sick. "The drug Colonel O'Neill has in his bloodstream appears to be harmless, just… Um." She seemed at a loss. 

"Groovy!" Jack exclaimed happily. 

This time Carter coughed. Janet simply sounded a bit strained as she answered. "Right, sir." 

"So, he's okay?" Daniel looked carefully at Jack. 

"Yes, the drug should be completely out of his system in less than twenty-four hours." 

A sudden insight came to Jack. "Hey… Didn't we have a bunch of alien lumps running around here?" 

"Yes, sir." Carter smiled. "We've taken care of all of the…lumps, though." 

"Cool." He concentrated. There was something else… Ah! "What about Johnson and Steel?" 

"Johnson has some light scratches on his face as well as some residual pain from the zat'nik'tel," Janet answered, "but the alien didn't have time to administer the drug into his system." 

"And Lieutenant Steel was the one to fire the zat at you." Daniel looked wary, as though he was expecting Jack to do something. 

Jack frowned. "Should I be mad at him?" 

"No, Jack, I think you should thank him." 

"You sure?" 

"Positive." 

"Okay." 

"In the meantime, you should get some sleep, Colonel." 

"Hey, Doc! You know what would be really cool?" 

"Ah, no, sir. What would be really cool?" 

Jack smiled at her. "If I could sleep at home." 

Janet made a slight face. "I don't think that's a good idea, sir." 

"Why not?" Jack had a feeling he was pouting, but he didn't really care. This was not groovy at all. 

"Colonel, to all of out knowledge the drug is harmless, but it could just as well be dangerous." 

"But you said it wasn't!" 

"Yes, but I don't think that's a risk we should take." 

"Aww, come on." A bit alarmed Jack felt his eyes tear up, and Carter and Daniel looked equally alarmed. "I don't like sleeping here." 

Janet opened her mouth to say something, then closed it while releasing a breath. She looked hard at him for a moment, and Jack tried his best to look pathetic, even though some part of him remembered that that never worked with the Doc. Finally, Janet said, "I'm not even going to consider you going home on your own." 

Jack was about to let out another wail when the words sunk in. "But if I wasn't on my own?" 

Janet looked at him, then at Carter and Daniel. Daniel shook his head and the corner of his mouth quirked up in a smile. "I'll drive him." 

*

Wow. That was really cool. One, two, _swish_. One, two, _swish._

"Will you stop that?" 

Jack looked curiously at Daniel who was driving. "Stop what?" 

"Making a sound every time we pass a street light." 

"Oh. Okay!" Jack stared at Daniel for a while, watching the street lights flicker over his face. One, two, _glint_. One, two, _glint_. The flashes lit up his glasses and hid those intense eyes momentarily. _Wonder why he hasn't gotten contacts?_

He jerked himself out of his thoughts when the car hit a bump. He'd been doing nothing for too long, that wasn't cool. He switched the radio on and off until Daniel gave him an irritated glare. He tried sitting motionless for a bit longer, but didn't make it for long. Finally, not being able to sit still any longer, he rolled down the window and stuck his head out, all the while sticking his tongue out. 

"Jack!" 

Jack looked back at a very annoyed looking Daniel, still with his head outside the window. "'ath?" 

"Will you *stop* that." 

Jack pulled his head back. "Why?" 

"Because I'm coming very close to forgetting why violence is a bad thing." 

Jack considered this for a while. He then smiled brightly at Daniel. "Okay!" 

He heard Daniel sigh deeply and he looked over at the other man, who glanced at him tiredly. "Next time," Daniel said, "I'll do the drugged thing." 

*

As Daniel closed the door to Jack's house behind both of them, Jack heard a scratching noise. Somewhere deep down, far beneath the total greatness he was feeling, something told him that this should bother him. "What was that noise, Daniel?" 

Daniel tugged at Jack's arm and Jack lifted his arms from his sides. "I'd say it was reason number two on AA's 'why you shouldn't use recreational substances' billboard." He pulled Jack's coat off and hung it up next to the door. 

Jack walked into the living room. "What's reason number one?" He slumped down on the couch. 

"Reason number one is… Jack, you should get in bed." 

"That's a strange reason." Jack giggled. 

"Okay, don't do that again, it freaks me out." 

"What?" 

"The giggling. It's hard enough to grasp the fact that Sam does it when she's drunk, let alone you." 

"I'm not drunk." 

"No, but I really wish you were." 

Jack brightened. "I could get drunk." He stood and went to the kitchen, only tripping once. 

"You're not getting drunk, Jack." He could hear Daniel sigh as he followed him into the kitchen. 

"Am too." 

He opened the fridge, glaring at Daniel as the other man closed it. 

"You're going to bed." 

"I'm not tired." 

Daniel opened his mouth to reply then closed it again, looking appraisingly at Jack. "Tell you what; I'll warm some milk for you, that should help you sleep." 

"That's for kids, Daniel! I wanna feel groovy!" 

"I think you already do, Jack." 

"I do?" 

"You don't?" 

"Of course I do." 

"Right, so milk it is." 

"Fine," Jack snapped. Whoa. What was that? For a moment, the greatness wasn't so great any more. Oh well. It was back now. 

He returned to the living room, still not quite steady on his feet. He'd just chill a bit in the living room while Daniel did his culinary masterpiece and-

_Ow!_ Jack got up on his knees and glared at the lamp that had somehow placed itself in front of his feet. "I've given you a good home, haven't used you overly much and I try not to leave you alone too often," Jack muttered. "This is the thanks I get?" He grabbed the overturned lamp and picked it up as he rose to his feet. 

Steps were heard behind him. "Okay, the milk should be- JACK!" 

The pain in his knees caused a dent in the happy haze filling his head, letting him register the urgency in Daniel's voice and he spun around, using the lamp as a club. There was a wet _smack_ and Jack looked down on one of the lumpy alien things, looking as… lumpy as ever. 

He dropped the lamp on the couch and sorrowfully stared down at the floor. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into Daniel's sympathetic eyes. Jack made a helpless noise and pointed to the floor again. 

"I know, Jack, I know." 

Jack looked down again. "My...floor." 

"We'll clean it up, don't worry." 

"But… it's all…"

"Yeah, I know." He patted Jack's shoulder and looked down at the lump that now had green stuff pouring out of it. "I wonder why it stopped using the cloaking device." 

"It's a lump, Daniel, I don't think it thinks." 

"Yeah, but with that kind of technology-" he looked at Jack and closed his mouth. "How about some warm milk?" 

*

"Where is O'Neill?" 

"He's in the kitchen trying to drown his sorrows?" 

Sam's eyes widened. "He's not-"

"He's drinking milk. He was a bit upset over his rug." 

"Yeah, it's very…" She stopped, frowning a bit at what she could see of the rug. 

"Green," Teal'c supplied. 

"Green," Sam agreed. 

"Well, hopefully it'll go away when dry cleaned; Jack looked close to tears." 

"Do we know that that was the only one that followed you here?" 

"Yeah, we found some sticky stuff in the backseat of my car, but by the looks of it there was only enough of it to have come from one alien." Daniel shrugged helplessly. "I guess the base has to be swept again, but at least its mid-shift and not many people will have left yet." 

"And the General has the base on lockdown again." 

"How did you guys get out?" 

"We fired a zat'nik'tel at MajorCarter's vehicle." 

Daniel frowned. "Is that really good for it?" 

Sam looked a bit sad. "I'm taking it to the shop tomorrow." 

A man from the clean-up team approached them. "We're all done here, Major." 

"Very good, sergeant," Sam said, then smiled. "Have a good night." 

The sergeant made a dry face. "I'm zatting my bed first, that's for sure." 

*

Daniel and Sam rolled up the big rug on Jack's living room floor and Teal'c carried it to Sam's car. The dry cleaner was right across the street from the car shop, which was why she'd gotten the dubious pleasure of trying to explain the stain to the staff there. 

Daniel stretched and felt his vertebrae pop into place. God, he was tired. Mind numbingly tired really, but he had a suspicion that it would be best if someone stayed with Jack over the night. Seeing how irrational his behavior had been so far, with their luck he'd probably find it a god idea to run outside and streak along the streets of Colorado Springs. 

"So," he said as Teal'c came back in, "who's staying with Jack?" 

"Perhaps we should ask O'Neill," Teal'c suggested, then looked thoughtful. "Or we could lock him into his bedroom." 

Daniel shook his head. "He'd only pick the lock." 

Sam nodded. "Or use the window." 

"Right," Daniel agreed, then frowned. "He's been awfully quiet, hasn't he?" 

"I have not seen O'Neill once since we arrived." 

Sam looked alarmed. "You don't think he went out…"

"…the kitchen door." Daniel was already running. 

*** 

choose your ending own ending by picking one of the two next chapters. or you can read 'em both. I wouldn't complain ;)


	2. Sleepy, Daniel

Sleepy - Daniel 

Notes and disclaimers are in the first part.

*** 

No one would hear any complaints from Daniel that he hadn't had to run around Jack's neighborhood, calling for a grown man drugged out of his mind. Watching Jack sleep, Daniel decided as he stood watching the unconscious figure with his head on the tabletop, was always surprising somehow. Maybe it was because when awake, the man was never still. That made the contrast so much more noticeable. Right now, he looked absolutely knocked out, and Daniel doubted that they'd have to lock the door to his bedroom once they'd gotten him there. By the looks of it, sleep had overcome him when he was about halfway through drinking the glass of milk. Thankfully, he'd had time to put it down, and it was now placed right next to Jack's head, his limp hand on the other side of the glass. 

"Well. I don't think he went out the kitchen door after all." 

"He did not, DanielJackson. He is sleeping with his head on the kitchen table." 

He gave Teal'c a wry glare, but the other man looked oblivious. _Hah. Oblivious my ass._

"So… Who gets the honor of staying to…"

"Baby-sit?" Sam filled in. 

"Well… Yeah." 

"I'm driving his rug the cleaners. That alone is way beyond the line of duty." 

"I would stay and kel'no'reem here, but O'Neill's candles have a distinct… odor." 

Daniel smiled. "He got them from Janet. What, you don't enjoy the smell of roses, Teal'c?" 

"I enjoy it to the same degree I enjoy having a zat'nik'tel fired at me. Repeatedly." 

Daniel blinked. "Wow, that much?" 

"So," Sam smiled gleefully at Daniel, "I guess that only leaves you." She walked to the door and grabbed her coat of a hook. "Have fun." With a final wave, she opened the door and left. Teal'c inclined his head at Daniel, and Daniel could have sworn he saw a smile at the corners of his mouth. Before he could tell for sure, Teal'c was outside the door, closing it behind himself. 

Right. Baby-sitting. He sighed and walked into the kitchen to clean away everything. When that was done he went to Jack's room and carefully slipped in. 

Jack was lying just as they'd left him; sprawled over half the bed, face down. Locking the door after himself, he toed his shoes off, put his glasses on the bedside table and lay down carefully next to Jack. Daniel was a light sleeper, so if Jack tried getting out either by the window or the locked door, he should be able to wake up before he did something stupid. 

Yawning widely, he folded his hands and rested them on his stomach. He'd just take a little nap…

* 

When he opened his eyes, at first he wasn't certain of what it was that'd woken him. He would be the first one to admit that his brain wasn't the fastest thing in the morning, but he still was a bit embarrassed later when he thought back on how long it'd taken for the situation to register. 

When it did, he froze. Something warm and heavy was weighing down on his chest, and he could have sworn that someone was breathing slowly against his neck. But that was impossible, since he was in-

Jack's bed. 

He was in Jack's bed. 

Damn. 

"Would you relax," the person beside him mumbled. "You're gonna sprain something if you continue to tense up like that." 

"Thanks for the warning, I'll certainly consider that before I freak out the next time." 

Jack lifted his head and blinked sleepily at Daniel, and Daniel melted a bit at the sight of his sleep ruffled hair. "I'm freaking you out? Way to stroke a guy's ego." 

"Well, first, you're drugged out of your mind, second-" He stopped. Then, "Jack?" 

"Present." 

He studied Jack's eyes carefully, trying to see if they still had that glazed look. "Feeling any urges to use the word 'groovy'?" 

"Not particularly, no." 

He didn't seem drugged, but then again, was there really that much of a difference between a drugged Jack and a tired Jack? "So…"

"So, why don't you go back to sleep, so I can go back to sleep, and I won't have to be real cranky in the morning?" 

"Just like that." 

Jack gave him a 'you're such a pain in the ass' look. "Well, it's not exactly brain surgery." 

Okay, so maybe there was a slight difference between a drugged Jack and a tired Jack. The drugged Jack wasn't quite as caustic. Daniel found it a bit worrying that he actually preferred the caustic one. 

"Glad to know you're taking this seriously," Daniel said, trying looking offended, but it was hard confronted with that 'I'm trying to be practical here, why won't you work with me?' expression on Jack's face. 

"Daniel, it's night. At night, you generally sleep. We'll talk in the morning." 

Daniel's eyes narrowed. "You sure you're not drugged?" 

"Positive. Now shut up and go to sleep." 

"Geez, bossy," Daniel muttered, then turned to lay his head on Jack's chest. 

Jack yawned, making Daniel's head rise where it was resting. "It *does* say 'Colonel' on my uniform." 

"Jack," Daniel said sleepily. 

"Mmm?" 

"You're not wearing your uniform." 

"Shut up, Daniel." 

A snore was his only answer. 

* 

When Jack woke, his face was mashed against Daniel's neck _(Damn, he smells good.)_, his legs tangled with the other man's and… Well, let's just say that other interesting things were happening down below. As a matter of fact, those other things were sort of going "yippie-kai-ay!" at the moment. Jack felt inclined to agree, until the situation, despite its niceness, finally sunk in. 

He was in bed with Daniel. Daniel was in his bed. He was lying on top of Daniel. 

And damn if he could remember how he got there. 

Reluctantly, he lifted his head away from Daniel's neck and peered down at his face. His glasses were off and his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open as he breathed deeply in his sleep. How he was able to breathe deeply with Jack on top of him, Jack didn't know, but he figured he shouldn't think to hard on it or it might stop working. He had a brief moment of satisfaction from the fact that Daniel didn't snore before he came to himself. 

What was *up* with him? He was supposed to be regrouping here._And you're not helping,_ he mentally sneered to the other things down below that completely ignored him. 

Regrouping. Right. He frowned and thought hard about last night. Last night… 

He'd drunk milk. He'd met someone named Steel. He'd zatted someone named Johnson. He'd tripped on his lamp in the living room after which it'd turned into an alien. 

Or, you know, that last part could have been a dream. 

He did, however, have no memory of getting into bed with Daniel. He didn't have any memory of removing his clothes either - he looked down - which was probably why he was still wearing them. 

So, that left him with zip, except a vague notion that he should be really really hung-over at this moment. Huh. That helped. 

Daniel stirred beneath him and Jack's eyes flew back to Daniel's face. Well, so much for regrouping. 

Daniel blinked and opened his eyes, which widened once they managed to focus on Jack's. "Uh… Hey." 

"Hey." 

Daniel seemed to take waking up with Jack on top of him pretty well, so far. He squinted at the clock on the bedside table. "What time is it?" 

"A little past 0700." 

Daniel's eyes returned to study Jack. "How are you feeling?" 

"Good." As Daniel continued to look expectantly at him, he added, "Fine." Daniel's expression didn't change. "Dandy?" 

"Not feeling any side effects?" 

"Side…effects?" 

"You do remember yesterday," Daniel slowed down at the sight of whatever expression was on Jack's face, "…right?" 

"Depends. Did my lamp turn into an alien?" 

"You remember parts of yesterday." Daniel looked relieved. 

Jack's eyes widened. "My lamp *did* turn into an alien?!" 

"Oh, no, no! But there was an alien involved with your lamp." 

"An alien was involved with my lamp?!" Jack shuddered. "How is that any better than my lamp turning into an alien?" 

"No, no, I meant…" Daniel's eyes narrowed. "Are you being deliberately dense?" 

"For once, no." Jack considered rolling off Daniel, but decided to wait until Daniel mentioned it. "Why don't you tell me what happened last night?" 

Daniel opened his mouth and started talking, but not about Jack getting off him already. He talked about a lot of things, but that didn't come up once. Jack's eyebrows started to climb his forehead as he listened to what he'd been up to yesterday. 

"Steel *zatted* me?" 

"Well, he didn't really have a choice." 

A horrible suspicion hit Jack. Daniel frowned at him. "What?" 

"You didn't tell me what happened after that. Something embarrassing, right?" 

Daniel looked innocent. "Why do you say that?" 

"Because there's no way I'd get in bed with you without being drugged or something." 

Daniel went still beneath him, and Jack caught the hurt in his eyes before he started trying moving, apparently intent on getting Jack off of him. 

"What are you *doing*?" It was either pinning Daniel down or falling off the bed, so he went with the former, ignoring the fact that the things below were cheering at him. 

"I'm *trying* to go to the bathroom, if that's okay with you." 

"I don't think so." 

Daniel stopped trying to send Jack diving over the edge of the bed and settled for a glare. Things below whined pitifully. 

"I didn't mean it like that." Jack didn't think a quip would be appreciated tight now, so he restrained himself. 

"How exactly did you mean it then?" 

"Well, I didn't mean that you're, I don't know, repulsive or anything. Obviously." 

Daniel's eyebrows rose and he looked down pointedly. "Obviously." 

Jack followed his gaze and his face heated up. _Crap._

He braved on. "Because, you know, anyone would be blind to not see that you're a nice looking guy." 

"Really?" 

"Not, that I've noticed it or anything, but-"

Daniel sighed. "No, of course not." 

"Look…"

"No, you're right, you were drugged, and you weren't even conscious when I got into bed with you - not into *bed* into bed, obviously." 

"Obviously." 

"So?" 

"So what?" 

"Are you going to let go of me?" 

Jack looked at his hands that were closed around Daniel's wrists; which in their turn were pinned firmly to the bed above Daniel's head. He could see Daniel's pulse beat strongly in his wrist, and without really thinking about it stroked his thumb over it, softly. He watched in fascination as the pulse started beating faster as he continued to caress it. "Maybe." 

"Maybe?" Daniel sounded a bit breathless. 

"Yeah. Depends." His hand had released Daniel's wrist and was now stroking its thumb over Daniel's knuckles. There was a scar on one of them that he'd never noticed before. 

"Depends on what?" Daniel's voice was a bit hoarse, and it sent shivers down Jack's spine. 

Jack had always prided himself on being a man of action. That was the story he was going with at least as he bent his head down and pressed his lips to Daniel's, his eyes drifting shut in pleasure. Daniel's mouth opened under his and Jack was so busy taking advantage of that fact that he didn't notice immediately that he'd been flipped onto his back. When he did, he arched up and noted with some amount of glee that his things below weren't the only ones throwing a party. 

Daniel drew back a bit, catching his breath, and Jack suckled his lower lip. Daniel moaned and rested his forehead against Jack. Jack opened his eyes and got that blurry view you got of someone's face when you're watching them from *way* too short a distance. Not that he was complaining, mind you. 

"Jack?" 

"Daniel? Have to admit, I didn't know you liked to-"

"Jack, if you say 'liked to be on top', I swear to God I'm going to hit you." 

Jack continued as though he'd never been interrupted, "-sleep in other guys beds." 

Daniel stared at him then started to laugh. "Only in your bed, honest." 

"Glad to hear it." He captured Daniel's mouth again, and God, he'd missed necking. That it was with the person he'd wanted to do it with for longer than he could recall was almost too good to be tr-

He drew back and stared at Daniel; Daniel was panting slightly and looked a bit concerned as he pushed himself up with his arms. "What? What's wrong?" 

Jack slowly and carefully brought his hand to his arm and pinched himself. _Ouch._

Daniel frowned at him, then his expression cleared. "You think this is the drugs, don't you?" 

Jack looked warily at him. "You saying it isn't?" 

"I'm saying it isn't." 

"So, how do I know that the drugs aren't telling me that?" 

Daniel looked annoyed then pinched Jack hard on his arm. 

"Ow!" Jack glared at Daniel and rubbed his arm, which was turning red from the repeated pinching. "What was that for?" 

Daniel shrugged but didn't quite manage to hide that sadistic gleam in his eye. "Just thought it wasn't something a drugged induced hallucination would do." 

"Asshole," Jack said fondly. 

He leaned towards Daniel again, and watched as his eyes drifted half-shut. "So, not an illusion, huh?" 

Their noses were almost touching. "No," Daniel mumbled, "no illusion." 

**The End**

*******


	3. Sleepy, Sam

Sleepy - Sam 

Notes and disclaimers are in the first part.

*** 

Well, at least they didn't have to run all over the neighborhood looking for him. The Colonel had fallen asleep while drinking the milk he was "drowning his sorrows" in. Sam couldn't blame him; considering his zombie-like appearance before the whole mess with the aliens began, she could only imagine what drugs would add to that exhaustion. There was something vulnerable about him like this, his face lying on the table next to the glass of milk, completely relaxed; easing the lines in his face. "That is so cute." 

Daniel blinked, and then stared at Sam. Sam mentally cringed. _Oh my god, did I say that out loud?_ "I mean… Um." 

"Yes, MajorCarter?" Damn. Not even Teal'c was giving her an out. 

"The décor." She motioned to the walls and tried to look appreciative. "Very cute." 

Daniel continued looking at her. Teal'c was the first one to break the silence. "The walls are brown, MajorCarter." 

"I like brown," she said defiantly. 

Daniel kept silent, looking at Sam in that unnerving way that made you feel like everything you thought was on your face. Finally, he looked away and went to Jack's side. She held back a sigh of relief and led the way to the Colonel's bedroom as Teal'c came around the other side and he and Daniel lifted the Colonel together. They managed to drag/tow him to his bed and unceremoniously dump him there, face down. He didn't even stir. 

Sam pulled his shoes off and the covers up to his waist. They all stood and watched him for a moment, before turning and leaving. Teal'c closed the door quietly after them. 

As they went to the living room, Daniel finally spoke. "I'm gonna tell him you said that." 

"Daniel…" Sam tried to sound pleading and pathetic, and was somewhat alarmed how little effort it took to do so. "He'll never let me live it down." 

"I know." Daniel's head was turned away, but she would bet he was smiling smugly. Damn. 

"Perhaps," Teal'c piped in, a calculating expression on his face, "we could make some sort of arrangement." 

This was bad. This was very bad. She could recognize upcoming blackmail when she heard it. 

Daniel smiled warmly at Sam, and her eyes narrowed even before he started to speak. "Tell you what… You stay and, um, make sure Jack's okay, and I'll forget about the cute thing." 

"And how will I know that you'll follow through with that?" 

"Scout's honor." 

She regarded him steadily. He smiled at her, that quirky smile that relaxed her more than that warm 'let's be friends' smile ever did. "I promise." 

"Okay. If you don't…"

"…you know where to find me," he finished and they grinned at each other. One down, one to go. 

Sam regarded Teal'c carefully across the room as he looked back at her impassively. She knew he wouldn't forget. She knew that one day, when she'd been lulled into a false sense of security, he'd strike. It would be a battle. Human against Jaffa. Woman against man. Wit against cunning. 

For now, though, Teal'c just smiled mysteriously as he turned away and to open the front door. 

Daniel pulled on his coat and followed Teal'c out, glancing back at Sam. "I guess we'll see you tomorrow." 

"Yeah, I'll take care of things here and lock up." At least Teal'c was giving her a breather for tonight. That might leave her enough time to think of some way out of what would no doubt be embarrassing chores for an unspecified amount of time. 

Daniel nodded and smiled. "Okay. Tomorrow then." 

"Teal'c staying at your place?" 

"Yeah, I don't think they'll let us in at the SGC." 

"It's doubtful," Sam agreed. "'Night." 

As Daniel left she went back in the kitchen, quickly rinsing out the glass and the pan Daniel had used to warm the milk and putting them away. She dried her hands on the towel that suspiciously enough had the Air Force insignia on it, then stood indecisive for a moment. Making the decision, she walked to the Colonel's bedroom and opened the door. 

He was lying just as they'd left him; sprawled over the bed, face down. She smiled a bit and turned to leave, pulling the door closed-

"So cute, huh?" 

_Crap._

"I was just referring to your décor, sir." 

"That's alright, Carter," she could see the Colonel smiling goofily at her from where she was standing, "I think your décor is cute, too." 

Sam couldn't help but grin a bit at the sight of her commanding officer being totally doped up. "Yes, sir." 

He probably wouldn't even remember this tomorrow. A thought that was followed by others of a very inappropriate nature, so she tried to banish them by saying, "Well, I should get going." 

The crestfallen expression on his face made her feel like she'd kicked a puppy. "I really have to, I have to be on base early tomorrow." 

The Colonel looked thoughtful, then brightened. "I could order you to stay, then you wouldn't have to go there." 

"Well, yes, sir, but General Hammond told me to report in." 

The Colonel sat up a bit, supporting himself on his elbows, an indignant expression on his face. "What's he got that I haven't?" 

Sam tried to look solemn. "Stars." 

"Ah," the Colonel slumped back down on the bed, looking shrewd, "I see how you are." 

"How am I?" 

"Judging a man by his stars. Birds are manly too you know." 

Sam didn't know how she'd managed to keep a straight face, but by god, she deserved a medal for it. She also changed her mind about him forgetting about this. If he did, she'd remind him. Over and over and over. Blackmail was a beautiful thing. At least when she was the one doing the blackmailing. 

But, for now, she would control herself. In more ways than one. 

"Of course not, sir, you're very manly," she soothed, silently proud of the fact that she didn't even break a smile. "He does outrank you, though." 

"Oh." He was still so very cute, in a pathetic sort of way, that she couldn't have stopped herself even under better circumstances. She could feel the vowels starting to form on her tongue, her mouth opening, the words leaving her mouth-

"I could sleep on the couch." 

He lit up like a kid in a candy store. "Really?" 

"Really, sir." 

"Cool!" He grinned happily at her, and she grinned back, her heart fluttering foolishly in her chest. Damn, she was worse than a lovesick teenager. 

Still grinning, the Colonel opened his mouth to say something else, when his face was suddenly contorted in pain and he curled together with a moan, his arms holding his stomach. 

"Sir!" She didn't even notice moving; one second she was by the door, the next she was bent over him, her hands gripping his closed fists. "Sir, what's wrong?" 

A whimper was her only reply and she gently but firmly tugged at his wrists, trying to see what was wrong. God, what if the drug wasn't harmless? What if it was causing damage inside him, at this very moment? What if-

His fists suddenly unclenched, and before she had time to react, his arms were around her and he yanked her on top of him, Sam landing with an ungraceful "_Oof!_". 

He blew warm air into her ear, and she could feel the vibrations of his laughter through his chest. That sneaky sonofabitch! She was *so* never feeling sorry for him ever again. 

She was ready to dish out something caustic to him about crying wolf too often, when he sighed contently in her ear and said, "You feel good." 

This was such a bad idea. A bad bad idea. Obviously, it could be nothing but bad judging by how very good it felt. He was warm and solid and obviously more heavily muscled than his lean appearance indicated. 

And he was nuzzling her neck. 

"Sir…"

"Mmm?" 

"Sir, this is a really," she sighed as he nuzzled her hair, "bad idea." 

"No it isn't." 

"It is." 

"Doesn't feel bad." 

"Which is why it is." 

"That doesn't make sense." 

"Sir…"

"You know," he mumbled, and she couldn't bring herself to call him "Colonel" in this situation, not even in her thoughts, "calling me 'sir' in bed is kinda kinky, Carter, but whatever stirs your coffee." 

"Look, I really think-" She broke off as his arms suddenly went limp around her, and she carefully braced her elbows on the mattress and raised herself. 

His mouth was slightly open and a light snore was heard. Well, good. Good. This was what she'd wanted after all. Yep. 

Sam sighed and carefully started climbing off her unconscious CO. Being responsible really sucked sometimes. 

* 

When Sam woke, years of waking up in unpleasant places made her keep her eyes shut and try to get her bearings straight before announcing that she was conscious.

She was stretched out on something yielding and quite frankly, lumpy. She'd slept on gravel piles that were more comfortable. That meant it was one of two things: some new, diabolic torture device invented by the latest fashion impaired Goa'uld, or Colonel O'Neill's couch. 

The smell of coffee made her suspect the latter, but one never knew. It wouldn't be beyond the Goa'uld to do the "look what I have that you can't have" tactic. They weren't called evil for nothing. 

Taking a chance, she cracked an eye open, and met amused brown ones. 

"Look who's joined the living again. Here, have some coffee, I think you deserve some kind of prize for actually managing to sleep on that thing." 

She sat up and self-consciously tried to flatten the worst of her bed hair. She accepted the cup he held out to her gratefully. "Thanks." Stalling for time, she took a large gulp, and almost sighed with pleasure as the strong beverage slid down her throat. Another thing to thank and/or blame the SGC for: irreversible caffeine addiction. 

"So," the colonel put his coffee cup on the table, "what the hell did we do last night?" 

Sam almost forgot to swallow the coffee before speaking. "Sir?" 

"Well, I'm not quite hung over, but when I turn my head real fast, things kinda… wobble." 

"Um, actually, sir, you got drugged." 

His eyebrows rose. "Was this some kind of delayed surprise party for my birthday?" 

Sam grinned and relaxed. He didn't remember. Part of her felt extremely grateful, another part… disappointed. She firmly told the second part to shut up. "No, sir, although I'll certainly bring the idea up for next year. This time, however, we had an alien incursion…" Sam summed up the events of last night as briefly as she could, and was for once not interrupted. That wobble must have really been something. 

"Wow," the colonel said when she finished. "Glad to know the new guys got an exciting tour." 

"That they did." Sam smiled and drank the last of the coffee. "I have to get back to base now. You should probably take it easy today." 

"Your concern is heart warming." Ah, there was the sarcasm she knew and loved. 

"That's what they pay me for. I'll drop by the dry cleaners at lunch." 

The colonel looked down on his now bare living room floor. "Please do." 

"Right." 

She stood and made her way to the door, feeling him follow closely behind. She was still trying to decide whether or not blackmail was still an option when he handed her her coat. "Carter?" 

She looked up at his quizzical expression. 

"Deep thoughts?" 

"Ah, no, just wondering where to pick up breakfast," she obfuscated. 

"I could fix something up…" he offered, gesturing towards the kitchen. 

"Oh, no, that's fine, sir, I'll just head by Starbucks." 

"Sure?" 

"Positive." 

"Okay, then. Have fun with your paperwork." 

Sam smiled and opened the front door. "I will, sir." 

When he spoke next, his voice was a strange mix of warmth and amusement. "Sir, Carter?" 

She turned and looked at him. He was smiling at her. "Kinky." 

**The End**

*******


End file.
